


i like you so much (with all my heart)

by tongham



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, fast burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tongham/pseuds/tongham
Summary: “here, let me get that for you,” a voice calls out quietly, the sound coming from below dongpyo’s current position. when he looks over his shoulder and sees eunsang, dongpyo can’t help but smile bright. in acknowledgement, eunsang’s closed smile widens until it reaches his eyes.“and we meet again,” dongpyo says, laughing as he descends from the stool and his embarrassing attempt at self-sufficiency. “it’s that one up there, iron curtain.”admittedly, eunsang still employs the use of the stool but his limbs don’t need to stretch to unshelve what dongpyo had his eyes on. “here,” he says as quiet as a breath, settling the book in dongpyo’s waiting arms. “anything else up there?”dongpyo shakes his head, looking up at eunsang with an expression that he hopes will communicate gratitude. “thank you, eunsang.”the other boy waves off the acknowledgement. “it’s the least i can do for you.”
Relationships: Cha Junho/Kang Minhee, Lee Eunsang/Son Dongpyo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	i like you so much (with all my heart)

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god it has been way too long... how does ao3 even work again? haha this has been completed for so long but i’ve been doubting it and letting it rot in my drafts but since november just started it’s time to set it free!
> 
> school and work has left me so busy for the past 2 months *cries* but i hope my daily prompts i’m using to tackle nano will amount to something publishable! i wanna explore some more NEW ship dynamics so look forward to that, i’ll count this as one... am i the only one left considering dongpyo/eunsang? anyway this ended up a bit longer than i wanted but gotta have that subplot plus the room to execute everything perfectly... enjoy you sad oneits!
> 
> title from love & live by loona 1/3 (their entire discography + this fic is !!!).

not to be dramatic or anything, but dongpyo would rather die than take another chemistry course in his life. any science, for that matter. he’s never dealt well with the intangible, with the theories and models. he prefers dance and poetry, things that make him feel. not to discredit the sciences, though, and all the misery dongpyo has certainly felt in its death-grip.

since he’s not about to let a  _ chemistry grade _ end all prospects of graduation (and his life), dongpyo has been taking the senior course more seriously than he has taken anything ever, to be quite frank. that’s how he ends up becoming a library person in his last year of high school, using every single study hall to understand the most incomprehensible of subjects.

dongpyo must be a saint, or a very diligent student at the least, to continue with his studies despite a freshman language class sharing the library space, armed with nothing more than a filler research project and unassigned seating. popping in his earbuds with a grumble, turning his music up louder than he’d personally like, he gets to work with shoulders hunched over textbooks.

dongpyo has always been host to a poor internal clock, he’s unsure if his focus time adds up to seven minutes or a full hour when he’s disrupted by a tap on his shoulder, so light that he nearly misses it. suppressing an eye-roll, he allows one ear to listen and eyes flit up to whoever’s calling on him at this time.

the aforementioned person is a boy, unfamiliar even to social butterfly dongpyo. he stands tall, all kind eyes and lips curled into a small smile and striking cherry-red hair. he passes the eye test, dongpyo concedes. “hi, i’m eunsang. is it alright if i sit here?”

lost in his thoughts, adding a new entry to his social encyclopedia, it takes a shift in eunsang’s gaze for him to become conscious of his silence and weird staring. “yeah, sure.”

at those words, the new boy – eunsang, dongpyo reminds himself – slides into the chair parallel to his regular spot. suddenly conscious of his caused disruptions, dongpyo clears his spread reaching across the table, electing to work more compactly for the other’s sake.

after another undetermined period of study, dongpyo decides it’s time to get to know eunsang. he turns off his music, tapping the other boy’s forearm. not like the library’s quiet anyway. “what year are you?”

eunsang’s eyes follow up slowly to look at dongpyo, taking his time answering. “senior.”

dongpyo’s mouth forms an o, mostly confused as to why this person would be anonymous to him. “me too. are you new here?”

“yeah,” eunsang says quietly, even quieter than the way his voice resonated in previous words.

“ah, that explains it,” dongpyo mumbles before smiling at eunsang, offering a hand to shake. “nice to meet you, i’m dongpyo.”

instead of taking up the handshake – it’s unclear if he’s uncomfortable or oblivious to the outstretched hand – eunsang meets his eyes and nods in acknowledgement. somehow, his kind smile transforms what would usually be viewed as rejection into appreciation.

it’s strange for dongpyo, naturally attracted to friends who match his extroversion, to find himself wishing for a second meeting with someone who comes across as so shy, someone as quiet as eunsang. forget about conventions and the expected, dongpyo has a good feeling about eunsang.

* * *

ask dongpyo for his role model, he’ll probably say song hyeongjun. a friendship forged in middle school, the taller boy is admirably good in both dancing and studying. if it weren’t for his best friend with his shared passions and a-one emotional support, dongpyo likely would’ve given up at this point: in the studio, in the classroom, in life for that matter. to top off his skills and kindness, it certainly helps that hyeongjun also happens to be adorable and affectionate, qualities that dongpyo much appreciates.

but as perfect as he seems, hyeongjun is still human and he has a killer tendency to work himself up. that’s how he ends up in the library with dongpyo, hands knotted in his curls, panicking about a last-minute notice on a novel exam.

“how could he do this to us? something worth that much certainly deserves more warning!” hyeongjun looks up at the ceiling. “i was gone for one week. one week! and i only find out now that it’s tomorrow?”

“i’m sorry, i should’ve thought to ask minhee about it.”

“it’s not your fault, you’re not even in that class,” hyeongjun sighs. “did i really forget to send a notice?”

dongpyo rubs hyeongjun’s shoulders reassuringly. “okay. we can’t change what happened, but what we can do is start studying. you’re a genius, hyeongjun, i know you’re gonna ace it.”

hyeongjun looks up from his status, staring at the cover of the enemy of the hour, sending a small smile dongpyo’s way. “thanks, pyo. i guess you’re right.”

“of course i am,” dongpyo says with a roll of his eyes and hyeongjun laughs, a bit too loud given the setting. “now get to work, i have my own stuff to do too.”

the pair sink into the atmosphere of a library much quieter than dongpyo last left it, the only disruption a tap on dongpyo’s paper when hyeongjun asks for one of his highlighters, the ones that don’t bleed through the page and are easier on the eyes.

“hi, where did you find that book?”

it’s clearly directed at hyeongjun but dongpyo’s head snaps up first at the familiar voice, quiet and gentle. true to his assumption, it’s the new student he met the other day in this very spot.

hyeongjun’s response is delayed. “oh. it’s from one of my classes, i don’t know if there’s any other copies here.”

“hi, eunsang.” dongpyo says from his spot next to hyeongjun, unconsciously blurted out from a conscious jealousy of attention. eunsang’s face mirrors back the confusion on dongpyo’s, he works to control his expression into a weak smile.

“oh,” eunsang says shortly as hyeongjun eyes flick between the two, mind at work. “hello, dongpyo.”

neural connections processed, hyeongjun speaks up. “you two know each other?”

eyes shifting to eunsang to gauge his reaction first, dongpyo teases his answer with his body language, the so-so gesture. “kinda. we ended up sharing a table the other day. so,” dongpyo turns his attention back to eunsang, standing at the head of the table, “why are you looking for that book?”

“oh,” eunsang says again – dongpyo’s realizing he says that a lot. “it’s one of my assigned readings. my class is short on copies.”

“are you with mr. cho?” hyeongjun inserts himself back into the conversation.

eunsang nods wordlessly, the two smaller boys with eyes turned to him.

“we’re in the same class then!” hyeongjun exclaims and dongpyo notices the way eunsang’s guard slowly comes down in the face of hyeongjun’s kindness. “i have all the questions and assignments we’ve done so far, i can help you with catching up.”

it’s hard not to smile at hyeongjun’s enthusiasm, demonstrated by both dongpyo and eunsang. with a small laugh, eunsang slides easily into the seat across from hyeongjun.

ever-sensitive to his surroundings, dongpyo finds it hard to focus on his chemistry worksheets with eunsang added to the mix. he continues to notice him out of the corner of his eye, trying to keep his struggle discreet as the blanks are filled in more and more slowly.

dongpyo is even more confused now, a second encounter with eunsang leaving him with many more questions than answers. great, he has a connection to hyeongjun, that means there’s a greater chance for friendship. but why was dongpyo so aware of his presence? does he feel uncomfortable around eunsang? why are his hopes to keep running into eunsang unchanging despite all that?

questioning everything he’s ever been confident in, dongpyo is starting to believe that even chemistry may be easier to understand than eunsang.

* * *

“and that’s why i think blonds have more fun so stop being so uptight, would you?”

dongpyo is already highly-skilled in ignoring kang minhee, a close friend since elementary school, but his entire rant about impulsive hair styling choices goes completely over dongpyo’s head today. “fine,” dongpyo mumbles, noncommittal and ambiguous in its meaning. his friend raises an eyebrow but he has no chance to poke further when hyeongjun and junho sit down in the reserved seats across from them.

“thanks,” junho says in his quiet voice as he hands minhee’s bag back to its owner across the table.

“so!” hyeongjun exclaims enthusiastically and beyond that sunny smile, dongpyo has his doubts. “dongpyo made a new friend.”

“without us?” minhee gasps.

“you won’t get rid of us so easily,” junho scolds, poking at dongpyo’s shoulder.

“god, am i sentenced to this for life? and hyeongjun’s lying, we just happened to run into each other on two separate occasions.” dongpyo shrugs, no big deal.

“is that not how you befriended our junho here?” hyeongjun interrogates, junho’s head snapping toward the younger boy in a silent act of protest.

“anyway, i do wish i could introduce you all to him but, as i said, our encounters are never planned.” words thickening on the final phrase, the shortest boy sends a sharp glare hyeongjun’s way, willing him to drop the subject.

“can we meet him, dongpyo? please?” minhee attempts an act of cuteness and hyeongjun doesn’t even bother hiding his laughter at the absurdity of it all.

“if i run into him again, i’ll invite him to lunch. now be quiet and eat your pizza before it gets cold.”

“joke’s on you, it’s cafeteria food so it’s already cold,” minhee mumbles through a mouthful of crust.

dongpyo isn’t exactly sure why this time feels different, he was the one to drag junho into their circle freshman year. he settles on his conclusion: it’s probably because dongpyo’s friends are strange and he’s unsure if eunsang would be able to handle them. yeah, that’s definitely it.

* * *

dongpyo finds himself in the school library again, researching his final essay for global history. one of the more palatable courses in dongpyo’s opinion, he has the motivation to actually get his shit done on time. that’s how, two months into the school year, he finds himself navigating the shelves of a lightly-used high school library, sneezing regularly from the collected dust. with his teacher’s print sources rant just moments before acting as the catalyst, he’s searching (in vain, mostly) for that precious reference material.

scanning a foreign-language section much too large for a collection servicing teenagers, dongpyo’s eyes catch familiar words on the second-highest shelf and he zeroes in. there’s just one problem: dongpyo is short. in his defense, that shelf would also be out of reach for someone of hyeongjun’s height as well (nothing is out of the reach of kang minhee, unfortunately).

sighing with a small flicker of frustration in his chest, he exits the dim light and peers at the other rows, locating a stool that may aid his strategic extraction of that single book. he spots it easily but it’s of little use when dongpyo is still struggling to reach the ledge of that shelf, nevermind the book buried beyond, balancing on his toes and a dangerously-thin piece of plastic.

“here, let me get that for you,” a voice calls out quietly, the sound coming from below dongpyo’s current position. when he looks over his shoulder and sees eunsang, dongpyo can’t help but smile bright. in acknowledgement, eunsang’s closed smile widens until it reaches his eyes.

“and we meet again,” dongpyo says, laughing as he descends from the stool and his embarrassing attempt at self-sufficiency. “it’s that one up there, iron curtain.”

admittedly, eunsang still employs the use of the stool but his limbs don’t need to stretch to unshelve what dongpyo had his eyes on. “here,” he says as quiet as a breath, settling the book in dongpyo’s waiting arms. “anything else up there?”

dongpyo shakes his head, looking up at eunsang with an expression that he hopes will communicate gratitude. “thank you, eunsang.”

the other boy waves off the acknowledgement. “it’s the least i can do for you.” dongpyo takes to skimming the summary until eunsang speaks up again. “well, it was nice seeing you again. hope we cross paths again sometime soon.”

“wait!” dongpyo whispers loudly, grabbing the wrist of a turning eunsang as an impulsive reaction. he can all but feel the other boy’s muscles tense up at the contact and he quickly lets go after meeting his eyes, seeing the confusion staring back at him. “i was wondering if you’d like to meet my friends. have lunch together someday.”

eunsang nods enthusiastically and dongpyo smiles back at him. “that would be great. can i drop by tomorrow?”

“of course,” says the shorter boy, hugging his book tight to his chest. “see you then, eunsang.”

after eunsang excuses himself, dongpyo takes a moment for himself hidden behind the bookshelf. he didn’t have much time to worry about it in the moment but what does eunsang even mean? how does he feel? he’s now comfortable talking with dongpyo, nuances in his wording leading him to believe he wants to become friends just as much, but he still flinches away from anything more than that.

directed at his own thoughts, dongpyo laughs and rolls his eyes, returning to his seat to crack open a book starring european countries he’s never even heard of.

* * *

although the logistics of their meeting were never discussed, dongpyo and eunsang both head to the library when class is dismissed for lunchtime. laughing at that unspoken assumption as they move downstairs, dongpyo tries to ignore the little knot in his chest, worrying if his friends will like eunsang as much as he’s come to like the boy over their brief encounters.

“okay, losers, be nice to eunsang,” dongpyo says as he approaches his friend group, resting his tired bones on the plastic cafeteria chair. the delivery earns a small giggle from eunsang, seated to his left, and dongpyo likes the pleasant noise.

“hi,” eunsang says quietly, barely audible over the hum of lunch hour. the three nod their heads, say a few greetings of their own: indifference that dongpyo will chalk up to a personal victory.

“wait a minute,” minhee points a finger at eunsang and dongpyo makes an effort of restraining himself from swatting it away, sensing his new friend’s discomfort, “are you in mr. cho’s lit class?”

before eunsang can even get a word out, hyeongjun sighs loud enough to bring the entire world to a halt. “minhee, did i not tell you about this yesterday or were you not listening? as per usual?”

minhee holds his hands up in surrender and hands the floor over to eunsang, time for him to get a word in. “yes, i’m in that class and i recognize you both from it.”

“you’re new here, aren’t you?” eunsang silently nods his head at minhee’s interrogations. he sits back in his chair, laughing to himself. “of course dongpyo would already find a way to befriend you. anyway, we’re your lit classmates, minhee and hyeongjun. and that’s junho over there, i don’t know if you share any classes with him.”

ever the observer, junho shakes his head with confidence. “negative.” then, directed at eunsang, “welcome to the club. apologies if they’re too extroverted, you’ll get used to it eventually.”

completing the circle, eunsang smiles at junho’s words and dongpyo feels a wave of relief wash over him. thank god eunsang will be sticking around, dongpyo thinks.

* * *

dongpyo isn’t so sure if he likes having eunsang directly involved with his circle of friends right now. sure, it has its perks: dongpyo spends most time outside of his studies with that very group, it’s good to have eunsang as a part of that. not only that but he found his way into the group so perfectly, working his way into their signature back-and-forth with grace and a few stellar one-liners.

however, eunsang still makes the time to hang out with dongpyo exclusively – hangouts which dongpyo would argue don’t even count as hangouts, boiling down to their common study hall and a shared table. eunsang likes dongpyo’s high-quality stationery and dongpyo likes eunsang’s willingness to help him out with any and all academics: eunsang excels in all subjects because of course he does.

that’s where he is, studying with eunsang, when his phone lights up disruptively behind the curtain of a used sheet of white paper, syllables written big and round in thin black ink.

**minhee**

_ i have a question for you _

dongpyo lets out a sigh but slides his finger anyway – sure, he’ll entertain minhee for as long as he pleases.

_ what is it dummy _

_ do you like eunsang? _

looking up to the ceiling, dongpyo turns off his phone screen. out of sight, out of mind.

_ i can see your read receipts idiot _

_ answer me _

_ do you like eunsang? _

okay, well, there’s no getting out of this when minhee is this bored and this much of a pushover. doesn’t mean dongpyo would pass on any opportunity to mess with kang minhee.

_ of course i like eunsang, he’s proving to be a really good and reliable friend _

_ don’t act coy here you know what i mean _

_ do you have a crush on eunsang _

_ what???????? _

“dongpyo?” eunsang asks and, as gentle as his voice is, the snap back to reality makes the shorter boy jolt in his seat a bit. “you should focus on your schoolwork. i’m here to hold you accountable, right?”

dongpyo glances down at a new text,  _ if you don’t answer i’m right _ , and lets out a sigh. his fingers begin working, _ i don’t like eunsang like that _ . and after a short pause, again.  _ someone’s jealous he’s not the best friend anymore. _ “sorry, eunsang. it’s just minhee.”

“isn’t he in class now?”

dongpyo laughs. “you must not know minhee yet.”

eunsang reciprocates the smile. “okay, now let’s focus.”

“actually,” dongpyo starts, putting a hand on eunsang’s arm to prevent him from turning away. a sharp reminder that eunsang doesn’t like that crosses his mind and he quickly removes all contact. “i feel like i should tell you. i hate keeping secrets, i’m also really bad at it.”

“a secret?” eunsang raises an eyebrow. “actually, don’t tell me. i don’t want to invade minhee’s privacy.”

“it’s not about minhee. it’s about you.” eunsang widens his eyes. “he thinks i have a crush on you. so if he starts bothering you, that’s why.”

eunsang’s mentioned to him before that he also values honesty, it’s why he maintains eye contact so intensely with whoever he talks with. dongpyo finds it strange when eunsang takes his eyes off him, returning to his academic duties in the middle of conversation. “what did you tell him?”

“that he’s delusional and blinded by jealousy because i like you more than him.” 

eunsang cracks a small smile at that, a combined dig a minhee and affirmation that dongpyo enjoys his company a lot. “i’m honoured. now –” eunsang doesn’t finish the sentence, impatiently tapping a pen on his question sheet.

dongpyo smiles and nods, turning his phone on ‘do not disturb’ and picking up another highlighter for his assigned reading, minhee’s impressive leap to conclusions washing off his mind in eunsang’s silent, comfortable presence.

* * *

after dinner and sunset, dongpyo falls onto his bed, bookbag and homework pushed aside for now. when he isn’t studying (even when he is, to be honest), dongpyo has been examining eunsang’s place in their group, minhee’s stupid theory planting an idea in dongpyo’s mind that eunsang’s entrance into his friend group has injected some romance into the air. 

when he spots eunsang leaving school with junho on friday, something that has become a common occurence between the quietest pair, a lightbulb goes off in dongpyo’s head. on that saturday evening, he texts who and what’s been on his mind.

_ junho? _

_ can i ask you something? _

after a few moments of watching the moon from his window, eyes wandering as he waits to receive junho’s time, the minute change in lighting has him reaching for his phone again.

_??? _

_ are you and eunsang going out? _

_ huh _

_ dating. _

junho’s typing bubble appears and disappears multiple times, leaving dongpyo impatient until he gets a short response.

_ call me _

_ junho what’s going on _

_ please just call i can’t text you this _

before dongpyo can even reach for his contacts, junho’s own call is incoming. preparing for a secret to be kept and confirmation of his excellent matchmaking skills, dongpyo takes a deep breath when he presses the green button.

“it’s minhee,” junho blurts out in the very moment when dongpyo picks up the line.

“wha –”

“it’s not eunsang. i have a crush on minhee.”

“oh, junho.” dongpyo feels his heart break a little bit at junho’s small voice, guilt filling his chest over pushing his friend, someone as shy as junho, to confess ahead of his own terms. “i’m sorry for misunderstanding.”

“it’s fine. at least now i have to tell him.” it’s as if dongpyo is there in the room, can read junho’s anxiety in all its demonstration.

“don’t,” dongpyo says sharply. “don’t tell him just because i know. i swear on my life i’ll mention nothing of it. take your time, junho.”

“okay,” junho says, non-committal, feigning the offhandishness dongpyo knows he doesn’t have.

even if this isn’t what dongpyo came for doesn’t mean he’s uninterested. “why minhee?”

junho laughs. “i know, right?”

dongpyo frowns, tries again. “that wasn’t a rhetorical question, i genuinely want to know what happened between you two.”

the line goes silent for a moment. dongpyo checks if his connection is still stable. “i really like talking with him. he’s fun to be around but serious when it’s needed. he notices when there’s something wrong, like that one time i got a low score on an english test. he really wanted to help me through that.” junho lets out a shallow sigh. “at least, that’s how i saw it. he probably didn’t mean it as anything special.” another pause, shorter this time. “it’s hard to find the words when it’s just a crush at this point.”

dongpyo takes a moment to absorb that information. “i didn’t even know that happened.”

“minhee’s actually pretty good at keeping secrets, i guess.” junho laughs shortly, “who would’ve ever thought?”

“only when it comes to you, he spreads my academic record like wildfire. sounds like the feeling is mutual.” junho hums indistinctively on the other line. “anyway, thank you for your honesty. and sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” dongpyo will take junho’s word on that. “oh, and one more thing? eunsang actually has a crush on someone in our group.”

dongpyo opens his mouth to protest, interrogate, just do something when the line goes dead, the beep repeating over and over just like dongpyo’s thoughts.

not exactly an unproductive chat, but one that failed to answer his original question and introduced even more complicated information. a bit dizzy, dongpyo sets a midnight alarm on his phone and gets up to brush his teeth. when his mind is this muddled, the mountain of papers stacked on his desk can wait until the very early morning.

* * *

“are those chips?” junho whispers loudly in minhee’s direction, across the library table, eyeing the red metallic bag in the tall boy’s hands.

arranged before dongpyo and junho’s constructive little conversation, junho and minhee were meant to have their own “study date” (junho punched him when dongpyo called it as such) for their upcoming english exam, the course they share, the course that brought on junho’s feelings. dongpyo ended up in the mix when junho pleaded for the emotional support, a bit more on edge now that his crush on minhee isn’t isolated to his own mind.

“yes,” minhee says as he struggles to inconspicuously crack the seal, inadvertently making more noise in the process. dongpyo snorts at his sad attempt at silence.

“minhee, you know the only food or drink allowed in here is water.” dongpyo needs to stop connecting everything junho does to the new intel but it’s remarkable how natural their back-and-forth is, the work junho puts in as a foil. polar opposites, but isn’t that the charm itself?

“will you shut it if i share?” minhee bargains, staring down junho.

dongpyo wants to reach out a hand and hold junho’s arm for support but he (obviously) doesn’t. he doesn’t need to, junho staring back with a playful intensity void of any telltale signs of a boy crushing hard. how much he must have suffered. “fine,” junho sighs out finally.

minhee takes a handful, staining a political science reading before handing the bag across the table to junho. the elder boy reaches in himself before pointing it back in minhee’s direction. “keep it,” minhee says with the wave of a hand. dongpyo thinks it’s hilarious that minhee completely forgot there was a third wheel here.

dongpyo smiles to himself as junho looks on blankly, so clearly unsure of what to say. he settles on a “thanks,” hiding the annoyingly bright packaging in his lap. he holds out a chip for dongpyo who accepts the offer. junho has always been much kinder than minhee.

_ that was so romantic, _ dongpyo writes in the right-hand margin of his notebook, nudging junho with his elbow to deliver the message.

brows furrowed, junho scribbles down a response,  _ it was nothing. _ it’s much easier for junho to lie in writing.

dongpyo’s clearing space for a longer message, one addressing his blatant exclusion by the opposite party, when the volume on the library goes from zero to ten thousand. dongpyo ignores the noise, keeping his head down until minhee’s voice cuts through the chatter. “hey, eunsang!”

sliding into the seat across from dongpyo, eunsang smiles at the small welcome. “hi.”

“which class?” minhee asks.

“geography. the teacher’s running out of ways to keep us occupied.” eunsang’s eyes fall on junho, seated diagonally from his position. “are you still gonna introduce me to that italian place on friday?”

junho startles a bit beside dongpyo, expression quickly turning into a small smile. “oh, shit, sorry. i forgot i have to babysit my little cousin all weekend, her parents are going on vacation.” that’s a lie, junho is the youngest cousin in his family by far. dongpyo’s starting to feel a bit uneasy now. “dongpyo really likes that spot, maybe you two can go together?”

the table falls completely silent and dongpyo shifts his position in discomfort. “can’t you two just go some other day?”

“wait,” eunsang speaks up and dongpyo’s eyes turn to him. “i’m fine with going with dongpyo. are you?” the boy tilts his head ever so slightly and he looks so hopeful at the prospect. there’s no way dongpyo could reject that.

“of course. it’ll be fun to actually hang out with you, not just study.”

eunsang smiles back at dongpyo from across the table, that subtle way in which he puts all worries to rest, and he nearly forgets the context of the situation until his hand fumbles on a mechanical pencil.

* * *

“our dongpyo finally scored a date!” hyeongjun exclaims when he shows up for a statistics study session, dongpyo shushing him harshly. “with the new kid too, nice.”

dongpyo expresses his anger at his friend through a very non-threatening pout. he’s working on the intimidation thing. “why is it a date when it’s me and eunsang? what about him and junho? they hang out all the time.”

“please,” hyeongjun throws his head back, lowering his voice when he continues his sentence, “everyone knows that junho is in love with minhee.”

“i didn’t,” dongpyo mumbles dejectedly. “why was i the only one who didn’t know?”

“because your mind is just eunsang, eunsang, eunsang 24/7. prove me wrong.”

“i don’t need to prove shit to you,” dongpyo bites back.  _ eunsang is a much better study buddy than hyeong  _ – okay, dongpyo can see where he’s coming from. “listen. study.” dongpyo takes a stab at hyeongjun’s textbook, looking to move the conversation off himself.

even if they keep their dialogue minimal and focused until the bell sounds, dongpyo is left with much to think about. don’t people also think about their close friends often? he doesn’t see any difference in the frequency he thinks of junho or minhee or eunsang or hyeongjun. he’ll circle back to it someday, but not today: god, not during finals week.

* * *

in the first week of the new semester, dongpyo has his “date” with eunsang on that friday. with a shared study period ending the day, the pair meet in the library just like old days and discuss their new courses, accompanied by a bit of productivity.

a few minutes before school ends for the day, dongpyo’s eyes flick sideways at the pattering on the window. “it’s raining pretty bad out there.”

“yeah,” eunsang agrees quietly. “should we reschedule?”

dongpyo opens the weather app on his phone. “it says it’ll stop soon, i’d rather just wait it out.”

eunsang nods wordlessly at dongpyo’s proposed plan, one that the speaker realizes too late comes across as much too eager. “so, any other places around town i should know of?”

that question gets dongpyo going, listing off his favorite local restaurants as they come to mind and eunsang listens well, occasionally laughing or asking a short question.

when dongpyo comes to a stop, eunsang smiles bright at him. “there’s still lots for me to discover, it seems. maybe we should do this more often.”

dongpyo nods with a smile. “what about you?”

“oh,” the taller boy replies. “i don’t really know much about this city yet –”

“no, i meant where you used to live. tell me good memories you have from there.”

eunsang begins and dongpyo listens and learns. before moving to this school, eunsang lived in the same house for his entire life, a small cottage with his parents and older sister. their house here is bigger, even if his sister lives on her own now. he used to live in a maritime town and he misses the small, tight-knit community. he had a large group of friends through the years but they felt more like acquaintances, nothing like the friendship dongpyo has given him.

when he says that last phrase, word-for-word, dongpyo looks directly at an eunsang staring back with clear intent reflected in his eyes. this shouldn’t be different from any other time, eunsang looks at all of their friends like this: it’s just the way his eyes are, just the way he gives all his attention to whoever’s speaking to him. there’s just one problem: in this very moment, eunsang looking at him with eyes bright, in their high school’s library, raindrops streaming down the windows, casting a grey shadow on the room, dongpyo realizes he loves eunsang.

once  _ eunsang _ and  _ love _ form a neural connection in his brain, it’s impossible to stop the spillover of thoughts that now make sense: his soft voice and kind eyes, his caring and sincere heart, the immediate trust he instilled in dongpyo, his stupid, childish jealousy directed toward junho, his desire to get close, even closer with eunsang.

dongpyo scrambles to remove the tension from the situation, settling on “what about the other three?” stupid deflection, stupid dongpyo.

“them too, i guess,” eunsang says, his joking tone plain as day, and dongpyo laughs along. the conversation pauses there, the pair looking out the window again. “it’s getting late, we should go.”

dongpyo pouts at the stupid rain, ruining their plans right when he figures it all out. “alright, see you later.”

“wait,” eunsang whispers, grabbing the wrist of a rising dongpyo. he definitely feels his own muscles tense up at the contact, the kind he’s not initiating. eunsang quickly lets go when he meets dongpyo’s gaze. all of this feels strangely familiar. “you shouldn’t go home all by yourself, it’s cold out there and you’ll have to do public transit at this hour.”

dongpyo laughs quietly. “i’m fully capable of using the bus, eunsang. you should get home too.”

eunsang rolls his head back, chuckling at dongpyo’s words. “i’m literally offering you an alternative because you look disappointed. please, let me see you home.”

dongpyo’s heart skips a beat at eunsang’s plain speech, zipping up his backpack without another word.

* * *

dongpyo has never felt more alive, running down the sidewalks winding around his high school with the boy he finally knows he likes, eunsang pulling him along faster when the bus they need to catch whizzes past them.

eunsang drops a few coins into the slot before the pair collapse into the front row, exhausted but happy. eunsang laughs joyously, eyes squeezed shut and dongpyo can’t believe he’s only witnessing this beauty now. “we made it.”

“thank god,” dongpyo says quietly, feeling a bit tired from the gloomy atmosphere. he doesn’t intend on it when his head falls to rest on eunsang shoulder. it’s comfortable there. he doesn’t move away.

“cold? tired?” eunsang asks in a particularly soft tone, one that makes dongpyo’s chest go warm.

“all of the above,” dongpyo says with a small shiver. he’s never well-prepared for the weather, wearing only a sweater that is well-insulated but also past soaked through.

“here.” eunsang shrugs off his jacket, tapping dongpyo’s shoulder to sit forward so he can drape it over the smaller boy. what he does after surprises him even more, when eunsang slings an arm around dongpyo.

dongpyo desperately wants to ask eunsang why he’s doing this, how he became so comfortable with physical advances, contrary to what’s been holding dongpyo back this whole time. however, he doesn’t want that scene to play out on public transportation, on a bus that feels grubby while he freezes to death. dongpyo would rather spend the rest of the trip warm with eunsang close, enjoying this little moment for what it is.

* * *

“you got this place all to yourself?” eunsang asks, a teasing tone tinging his voice as dongpyo rummages in the pockets of his jacket, searching for his key.

“until six every weekday,” dongpyo plays back casually, struggling to find the right angle on the finicky lock. “you better stick around for some carbonara. it’s not quite the restaurant, but it  _ is _ my mother’s recipe.”

and because eunsang is made up of 60% kindness, “oh, don’t worry about me –“

“you’re no trouble, i gotta eat too.”

and with that, dongpyo urges eunsang to enter and make himself comfortable, settling on a seat at the sons’ kitchen table.

“your house is really nice,” eunsang observes.

“thanks, my parents really live by that sort of  _ do it right or not at all _ philosophy.”

“ah, so that’s where you get it from.”

dongpyo turns his attention away from the boiling water, glancing at eunsang with an amused expression. the taller boy smiles back and dongpyo’s about to melt in 3, 2. “i’m really curious what you think about my other friends so far.”

“they’re good.” eunsang nods, taking a moment to think. “i like the dynamic and i’m happy i didn’t mess it up –”

“oh, you’d never –”

“anyway,” eunsang raises his voice just enough to cut off dongpyo’s reassurances, “minhee’s really fun to be around. hyeongjun is super-supportive. and i find junho really easy to talk to.”

dongpyo waits for eunsang to continue, met with nothing but silence and the faint sizzle of pork and oil. “what, nothing for me?” he laughs lightly, taking the edge off.

that does little to calm eunsang’s nerves, dongpyo clearly seeing the way his eyes widen and he shifts in his seat. “uh, sorry. it’s just… there’s so much about you and i don’t know how to describe it.”

the gravity of eunsang’s words nearly knock dongpyo off his feet. he avoids confrontation at this hour, pushing it aside again, focusing on arranging the pasta and sauce just right on a pair of plates. “here, eat up,” dongpyo says when he approaches eunsang at the table, setting utensils between them.

“thank you, dongpyo,” says eunsang in that honeyish voice of his, smiling at the smaller boy.

the pair eat in silence for a moment until dongpyo asks for thoughts on the dish, eunsang nodding enthusiastically. “good,” dongpyo mutters, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

eunsang insists on cleaning their dishes along with all the pots and pans accumulated by dongpyo and his busy family. they continue their small talk, small talk that shouldn’t even qualify as such given their closeness. this is just how they work, a single conversation sliding smoothly, one topic onto the next.

“look, it’s not raining anymore.” dongpyo points outside, through the window positioned sinkside to filter light in. “you should get home before it’s dark.”

eunsang freezes in his tracks for a moment before nodding minutely, picking up his backpack. he doesn’t move to leave.

dongpyo doesn’t miss the inurgency of his actions and don’t think he’s not going to mention it. “what’s wrong, sangie?”

eunsang’s eyes are distracted, fingers knotting together and dongpyo has no idea what’s going on, what has eunsang so anxious. “there’s something i really wanted to ask you today.”

“of course. what is it?” dongpyo keeps his voice low, trying to introduce some comfort to the situation.

eunsang raises his head, staring at the ceiling as he visibly exhales a breath before relaxing his next, staring directly at dongpyo. “can’t you see i like you, dongpyo?”

dongpyo stares back at those words, at his best friend, at his crush, at the beautiful and sweet-hearted boy from the library confessing his feelings for him. unfortunately, dongpyo has no filter and tends to say a lot of stupid shit. exhibit a, “i’m sorry, what?”

“or are you really that dense?” eunsang follows up, muscles more relaxed and dongpyo reaches over to shove him in protest.

“no, no, i just... i can’t believe you like me back,” dongpyo says, breath hitching in the middle of his phrase.

“well, i do. you’ve always been so kind to me, how could i not love you?”

dongpyo smiles bright at eunsang, reflecting back at him. his mind catches up to him and his lips turn downward. “i’m sorry but if that’s the case, why do you always seem uncomfortable when i touch you?”

“i’m really sorry about that, pyo.” a pout slowly forms on eunsang’s face and dongpyo beats himself up internally. “i’ve never had friends like that, i’m not used to it. i didn’t wanna give myself false hope about us either, i know you’re like that with everyone.”

“oh,” dongpyo says quietly. “i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable.”

eunsang shushes him near-instantly. “never. i like it when it’s coming from you.”

“if you say so,” dongpyo whistles, wandering into eunsang’s space. “i’m still gonna ask from now on, though. is it alright if i touch you like this?” a hand falls on the side of eunsang’s cheek, along his neck.

“yes.”

“how about this?” dongpyo doesn’t move a hand this time, they both know what he’s talking about: their faces mere centimetres apart, breathing the same air.

“yeah,” eunsang whispers so quietly, dongpyo only registers the word on his lips before the taller boy is leaning in to close that final stretch of distance.

eunsang doesn’t seem fearful of their contact anymore – or, at the very least, he’s not afraid to kiss dongpyo. lingering on his lips, longer than dongpyo expected or intended, an arm looping around him securely. dongpyo likes that eunsang still tastes like honey beyond the flavours of parmesan and heavy cream.

ever-responsible, eunsang keeps it short and sweet, knowing they have a clock ticking away and parents to worry about. “okay, now that that’s done, i should actually get going now,” eunsang huffs out before smiling. “thanks for dinner, see you on monday.”

“trust me, it was my pleasure,” dongpyo says, voice lilting with playfulness and eunsang laughs. “hey, eunsang?”

eunsang hums, turning back around to look at dongpyo.

because dongpyo knows that eunsang experiences love through words, “i really like you.”

upon those words, eunsang smiles and pulls dongpyo into a warm hug, arms intertwined tight. because eunsang knows that dongpyo experiences love through actions.

**Author's Note:**

> this idea is probably an entire year old and it’s not exactly where i want it to be but sometimes you just gotta publish the garbage! i hope you enjoyed regardless <3 i really like imagining this quintet in any and every manifestation, really gotta get onto something less mundane than high school aus...
> 
> lmao i know i’m so late to publish something like this (another reason why i debated posting because like... x1? dead in a ditch!) but 02z are super-super dear to my heart especially when it’s outside of the usual pairings among them... they are such an interesting cast!! junho dongpyo minhee eunsang hyeongjun best boys!!
> 
> kudos and comments always much appreciated! you can also find me on twitter @deuichas or at curiouscat.me/tongham. stay safe everyone~


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